Change

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Stop and look back. Look at where you are now. Then look at where were you then.

Then you realised how far you've come and how much you've changed. So much so that you don't recognize yourself and appreciate what you had gone through.

It started off with plainly nothing and now ended up into something.

During this period I'm somehow shocked by how people have changed - either by entering the army or going into university. It totally shattered the original impressions of people, or even more, my impression of myself.

I used not to be like that - but all these things gave me a chance to change. By taking the first step...the rest of the journey seems to be easy - morphing slowly into another personality. To be a better person, all that is needed is the courage to change. The courage to take the first step and saying goodbye to the previous you. There's no excuses to escape.

How can you be a worse person tomorrow? How can you not change for the better the next day? It would have wasted previous day you have lived.

Take the first step. Change and start to like yourself. Become a better person.

Misery

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Apparently I didn't take care of myself enough. I developed a fever again - back to the usual 38.5C mark.

Had the feeling that I would be sick during the platoon outing at Sentosa. I had tons of fun playing volleyball, looking at people building sandcastle, people swimming...and all the illness seemed to have gone.

Yet it haunted me again - I couldn't stay awake during all the bus journeys home. Something was wrong. And there it is my fever went up to 38.5 and sometimes 38.7. Third time of the year having fever and the cause for it is always the same - throat inflammation.

I didn't realise how serious the problem was until the doctor asked me when my throat started to swell.

So the long weekend I had was spent on sleeping and trying to get well. But today I had a very serious headache - and a continuous one which haunted me throughout the day. I couldn't really stand and walk, so I had to either sleep or lie down to make myself feel better.

I didn't get to enjoy the weekend at all.

Next week I have a short weekend :(

I have to take care of myself.

Every Part of Life

Sunday, August 06, 2006

This week is rather eventful. Thursday - to the airport to send off relatives and dinner with cousins, friday - a movie with platoon mates + fire piquet duty, saturday - SENTOSA with 64s and today - at home civ and slack :)

Was enlightened by the movie "Click" I've watched on Friday. It has such a good mix of fun and touchy sentiments. The idea of the universal remote seems totally cool at the start, but when things start to go haywire...life starts to go wrong. You are missing chunks of your own life.

It made me recall what I wrote in my journal in Sec 2. "Why does our life has to include misery, sadness when we don't need them at all". I wrote the whole sentence in caps. Sec 2. So that's why my teacher called me to talk to her during reading period.

She said something like, "Life will be so boring without all these emotions...life will seem very pointless without all these things..."

Seems like a trivial answer.

And now I think the answer is beyond that.

Everything makes you appreciate everything else.

It's back to the typical "yin-yang" argument again. Whenever there's light, there's a shadow. Things exist for one another. When your life is in misery - it makes you appreciate the other side. Sickness, sadness, hopelessness are things that you need to help you appreciate the life you have now.

It's probably destiny or fate that help us pave our lives. Just walk down the road and appreciate the scenary and learn from all the experiences. All the drops, all the drips, every part of your life - it's worth living.

I had hoped to fast forward these 2 years. Now I'm having different thoughts. It's a worthy experience.