I Realise I'm Still A Child

Friday, February 29, 2008

Today is a special day - 29th Feb. It's a day which you get only every 4 years. However today I learnt quite a lesson. It was a humiliating experience. It is a humbling experience.

Before the story proper, I shall give an introductory story.

Who doesn't want to be rich? Who doesn't want to quit their job and stay at home, wait for their rich parents to feed them?

But what if you are born in a very poor family? Generally people may have these two kinds of behavior:

1) Childish behavior - you blame your parents for your own state.
2) Matured behavior - you know that everything is of no one's fault and you quietly help your parents to get out of poverty

So how?

If you really love your parents very much, you will not want them to be hurt. It really hurts a lot if you say the direct truth. And I think, the more you endure, it shows that the more you love them.

Although I'm turning 21 quite soon, I still have very childish behavior.

So what really happened today...

I initiated a meeting with my secondary school friends today. We were supposed to meet at his place for a mahjong session.

(This story involves me, Friend A and Friend B)

Then friend A was supposed to meet me at 10am for a swim. Then this friend overslept and replied me at 11 after she woke up. She said she can go to friend B's place at 12+. After that she said at 12+ that she needs to stay home for lunch and be only meeting us at 1+.

So of course I flared up because the whole meeting was delayed for 3 hours. But when I realised the reason I was quite ashamed of myself. She wanted to eat at home so that her grandma can cook lunch and have a proper meal.

Then friend B said why not we cancel the outing. But I managed to convince both of them to continue the meeting. Initially friend A wanted to stay at home to accompany grandma, and friend B wanted to study.

After that then when we were playing there were some unhappiness and misunderstandings. I realised that everyone was not really happy after all. They had better things to do than meeting out together.

Even if you think this meeting is of high priority, but others do not think so. Everyone has their own priorities. And I was looking for my own trouble when I organised the meeting.

I'm quite sad that things ended up like that. So many years of friendship and I think I still don't really understand what people want and how people feel.

I still have rather childish behavior. Why do I really need to insist? Why do I think I'm of a high priority? Why I did not think of the consequences and how others feel before I think of myself?

Maybe age is just a number. Mentality, mindset and maturity have no connections with age.

I hope this is just a learning experience and does not cost relationships.

Labels: Life Story